Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
