I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
