You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
