So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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