bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
There are leaves in my underwear?
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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