Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(650): View more from California

I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.

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(847): View more from Illinois

is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?

Fav 105 2309 2480
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(309): View more from Illinois

I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen

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(907): View more from Alaska

HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(609): View more from New Jersey

we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?

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(404): View more from Georgia

Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department

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(913): View more from Kansas

just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.

Fav 6 1796 924
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(803): View more from South Carolina

I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.

Fav 5 609 422
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(573): View more from Missouri

He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.

Fav 4 98 6
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