before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
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Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
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My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?