were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
