I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
