I'm so fucking centered right now
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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