i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
