i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
