We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
