R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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