Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
