eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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