the day after is always just damage control
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
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