Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
