My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
