she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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