I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Randomize
