...so i touched it.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
