VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
