you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
