thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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