I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
You were trust falling into bushes
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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