just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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