they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
