You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
