It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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