First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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