Already got asked if we're dating
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
