I wannas sexs uuuuu
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
