im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
