oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
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