The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
