Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
