So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
