You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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