It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
