I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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