First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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