he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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