I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
