He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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