And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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