It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
