he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize