Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
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dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
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I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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