I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
