I am in a vortex of obligation.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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