it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
