I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
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