This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize