Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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