Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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