Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
