I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
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he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
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You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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