Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Randomize
