I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
