I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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