my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize