At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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