Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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