Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Randomize