Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
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