Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize