got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
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