I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
